Thursday, January 8, 2009

UGH! Trying to hold it together!

I had a huge post typed out and ready to publish...but I then deleted it. It was about our struggle to do a lifestyle change and become debt free. We have ran into things that I was not prepared for. I guess the first and now deleted post was a "vent" about our decision being controversial with some people in my family's life. I was not prepared for the response that we have gotten from people we dearly love. I struggle with insecurities and self-esteem issues anyway...and to have dear friends make fun of and belittle our decision is something I was not prepared for. A lot of our debt accumulated trying to keep up with a their lifestyle...and now that we have placed ourselves on a budget that does not allow us to participate in eating out every weekend or shopping or continually going and doing, it has caused the friendship to go on a downward spiral. I find myself questioning things and people, it hurts to say the least. I won't go into details about the situation, let's just say that I wasn't expecting this blow! I'm hurt! I'm disappointed! I'm angry! My insecurities have grown! And I don't understand anything anymore!

Yes, this was an odd post....but this blog is to be honest and truthful about my struggles, so there it is in the raw emotional but edited post!

1 comment:

Janelle said...

Wendy I am here if you want to call me. You can email me for my number. The things Nathan and I have decided to do in the thirteen years of our marriage have BAFFLED our family and friends. Since 2005Nathan and I have been on a journey of change, recovery and discovery. People don't like change. I applaud you for following God's leading. Hang in there girl. Change and FREEDOM are coming!!! I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but it WILL BE WORTH IT! Questions are ok, but always remember the answers are ONLY FOUND IN GOD!!!